santosha

contentment

Happy with yourself, your body, your life, your assets .... content.

Not dwelling in the past, or looking to the future. Being in the moment.

This, according to yoga, is bliss.

The breath is always in the moment, and if you would like to be in the moment too, a great practice is watching the breath. If unwanted thoughts enter your mind, send them to your heart and they will melt away.

Not my drawing

J's sanskrit name, btw, is Santosha. I kid you not. It was born in Aspen, fully instated in Sayulita and is reaffirmed everyday again and again...

J and I have been practicing extra santosha by truly embracing San Diego for all that it is. We not so elegantly fought the character of the sprawling wild-child City for months until J's law-school compadre told her story of doing the same: it went something along the lines of "I lived in Point Loma with my parents and for two years I hated it with all my might, until finally, I just let go and learned to love it for what it is. Now I'm into San Diego more and more everyday."

Isn't it amazing how we all know deep down what we must do and where happiness hides, but it's not until someone (often someone we don't know) or something hits us with the truth so hard it knocks us right to the floor and we can't not pay attention.

Thank you little Law School Buddha, for J and I are embracing crazy California with all of its quirks and digging every grimy, sandy, polluted, sunny minute of it. Here's to every tattoo parlor, homeless hippy, drinking game, $2 taco, tanning bed, serve yourself froyo, and bustling A.M. bar. Amen.

My all-star girlfriend E whom I have known and loved for 21 years is a top chef and introduced me to "Nuttzo." It's a nut butter with every nut imaginable. Though I have a arguably unhealthy obsession with nuts and their butters; I continue to feast, bought this product yesterday, and thoroughly enjoyed a few tablespoons today. Check it out. (They sell it at whole foods.)

More tips from E are certain to come... she's a busy girl and has so much to share and give.

This morning J made Challah French Toast for breakfast. Does anyone out there have an absolute favorite recipe for french toast? In France french toast is called "pain perdu," translation "lost bread," because it is made by the french women with leftover stale baguettes. (And because they're not going to call it 'le toast francais' now, are they?) It's one of those things the french ladies make because they have nothing in the house but a few stale pieces of bread and an egg and here we turned it into an indulgent brunch fixture..... gotta love that.

I got the blues

I got the my-teachers-outta-town-and-she-left-us-with-a-substitute blues.

Yogini Elka was taking her mother to the airport this afternoon and in her place was a self-proclaimed "Vinyasa flow teacher" who "wasn't sure what to teach us lowly Gentle Yoga folk" (in so many words.) After this introduction I wasn't thrilled for the next hour in change, but as all sub'd classes and other sticky situations go, I ended up learning something* (other than NOT to announce to the class the limited little box you have squeezed yourself into.)

As we were creating asanas against the wall- trikonasana (triangle) and ardha chandrasana (half moon)- the unnamed alternate would cue us to step away and "test our balance" or we could stay against the wall where the pose was "easier than what she usually does in her regular class" (gag me.) I couldn't help but smile thinking with my elevated foot pressing into the wall what an amazing stretch I was getting, how the pressure was aligning me in a way the made the pose deeper and more demanding than any of the hundreds of times I've floated into ardha chandrasana in the middle of various yoga studio floors. The wall was not merely supporting me to go further, but literally pushing me to.

Take my word for it? I certainly hope not! Test it out for yourself. Test everything out for yourself. Then ask, but don't tell, how does it feel? Where do you feel it? What if you do this? Why not do that?

Try the varieties that make the spice of life and be the critic. Create your own Zagat's, Yelp, and Top Tens and watch them grow and transform as you age and experience.

Ceaselessly experiment, taste test, and step out of your comfort zone.

This weekend J made his long-distance fascination with Sailing an up-close reality by going out into our bay on a Sunfish... learning the ropes of what I can see is in the wind of becoming a great love. At the top is the view of the city of San Diego, 8th largest U.S. City in population, via not only J's boat, but our amazing little villa.

*Subbing is a difficult position to be in, human nature dictates that already the class hates you and you have to work extra for their respect and adoration. I have subbed many-a-class myself (even known as the go-to or perpetual subber in Aspen) and have every ounce of respect for teachers willing to take on the hairy task. If you know your teacher is going to be absent COME TO CLASS ANYWAYS you may find a new favorite person you would have never met or realize why you love who/what you love and never take her/him/it for granted again! Win-win.

As said by yoga journal in today's daily insight, take change in stride:

Part of the philosophy of yoga is that we can't always change the world around us. No matter what we do, bad things will happen and stressful situations will arise. The only thing we have control over—the only thing we can change—is ourselves. We can decide how to react to situations that challenge us. Will we allow them to throw us off center, or will we take them in stride?

Yoga teaches us how to respond to stress patiently. We must experience the physical challenge of the postures without fear, and use deep, calm breaths to move through them. If we can take that lesson off the mat and into our daily lives, we will move closer to the goal of responding to stress in a careful and considered way.

Best laid plans

In her deep, throaty, drawling Brazilian accent, Ocean Beach yoga instructor, Elka, guided us in meditation to "imagine your skin is transparent." (Eeemageene your skeeen ees transpaarent.)

I thought I was levitating.

Uninhibited or protective? Which are you? I tend, perhaps to a fault, to be on the guarded side. Below: transparent toaster!

Transparency to myself: Journaling.

I love filling books and starting new ones that encompass body, mind and spirit in varying ratios according to my mood and state of affairs. They are usually the same scribbles and blueprints in one form or another, they are sometimes asinine or forced, but they are always my therapy.

I have noticed a disturbing pattern of focussing on what I can do more and better, so currently as I soul-search for future careers and summer-ify my routine I am instead practicing self-encouragement and gratefulness. Replacing lack with abundance.

Buy notebooks, pens, markers & stickers you love and get to writing, it will change your life.

If you are stuck ask a question (Who am I? What do I love?....) and begin by writing the answer faster than you can think, writing without stopping.

Finding your Dharma is your Dharma.

Do what you can! That is plenty.

It's not necessarily how much time you spend that determines one's spiritual progress; it's the intention and attitude you have toward practice. Even if it's just for five minutes every day, it's so much better than doing hours of practice with a distorted view, a wrong attitude and unrealistic expectations. As a dharma practitioner, you may have sound intentions, but constantly think that you are not good enough, that you are not doing enough practice, that your spiritual experiences are too limited. Instead, you could simply try to practice with the available time you have and not keep going over this again and again in your mind.

~ Tibetan Lama Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche

Countdown to wedding: 100 days!

(I know this from the auto-countdown on the Registry I was strong armed into creating. I won't be visiting that intrusively statistical website again- freaky!)

Weird Science

a fast mind is a sick mind

a slow mind is a sound mind

That yoga must be grueling, sweaty and intense in order to bolster weight loss is a grave misconception. 108 sun salutations, holding crow for 12 breaths and five straight minutes of leg lifts and navasana abs are a great 'workout', but what differentiates yoga from other physical routines is the space it creates between our thoughts. It is in those spaces where lasting change happens.

A slim and adorable girlfriend of mine, to my utter shock, but also private understanding, revealed one night over dinner that just as men are said to think about sex every thirty seconds, some days the issue of weight is on her mind as much if not more often. Yoga, and especially the pranayama and meditation that goes with it, can sooth these demons more than exercise alone.

I get a lot of questions on the topic of weight and wanted to state my view this one time, but:

As a rule, I do not like to indulge in, and will no longer address "weight" as I prefer to discuss "health."

Choose a yoga practice that BALANCES your lifestyle, rather than aggravating it. If CHANGE is what you want, it must bring something new to the table (rather than twenty more push-ups, excuse me, chaturangas, to the already A-type, aggressive personality.) If you already have a yoga practice, is it exaggerating existing conditions or appeasing them?

~Do you feel anxious, self-conscious or insecure? Choose a room without mirrors and a teacher -maybe even clientele as well- with whom you won't make comparisons (not a twenty-something girl if you are one yourself.)

~Is your day-to-day filled with gossip and socializing? Choose a studio where you know no one, and attend class solo. Pick a spot in the room where you feel you are on your own island.

~Do you work from home? Find a studio with a community feel where yogis mingle after sipping tea and noshing on fruit.

~Lazy? Ashtanga!

~High-strung, busy, over-worked, American (haha)? Viniyoga, Yin Yoga, or stretch.

~All over the place? Injured? Iyengar... (my current love.)

Be honest, what do you really need for balance- not what does your EGO want. Yoga will create change only if you allow it to.

Oxygen Bar: Pranayama

Breathe to overcome temptation: inhale deeply and as you exhale OM to yourself. Om-ing is often viewed as a sharing of noise, concentrate instead on the vibration created within you. Silent OMing is theraputic and can be done anywhere. Yoga is a science and you are the scientist and the science project. Try it and see how it makes you feel.

Breathe to promote clear thinking: mindful alternate nostril breathing. (A conceptual Nadi Sodhana version.) Without physically plugging the nostrils, inhale through the left, exhale through the right, inhale through the right exhale through the left, inhale through the left.... continue and finish by exhaling through the left. I remember this breath as E.I.O. (Old McDonald) breath Exhale, Inhale, Other side.

Breathe for Energy: My favorite breath, the Breath of Joy, is illustrated at the top. Inhale though the nose in three parts swinging the arms forward (breath into belly,) outward (breath into lungs,) and up (breath into chest) and then forcefully exhale through the mouth while making the sound of HA releasing all the air as you bend forward, swinging your arms toward the floor and pulling your navel toward your spine. This breath should be enthusiastic and animated.

the bear necessities

BHARADVAJA'S TWIST relieves discomfort and tension in the spine, fosters detoxification, and reduces the pain caused by 'carpal tunnel syndrome'. (J is definitely starting to feel the effects of law school typing and writing!)

KERUT (pronounced carrot) has arrived! My girlfriend, last name Turek, hence the back-slang or semordnilaps Kerut, opened this Nantucket meets 1950's Palm Springs meets Morocco clothing boutique in the heart of La Jolla only a few weeks ago and it is fantastic. She carries pieces one wears again and again, pieces up-to-date and modern, but beyond trends and often vintage or vintage inspired. One client stated today that she would be happy emptying her entire wardrobe and refilling it with Kerut's frocks and finery. Why is it so many of us feel that way- in some aspect or another- wishing for a clean slate, a fresh start.

We all deserve a carefully selected army of apparel thoughtfully presented to us inside our exquisite closet in a streamlined fashion. Why should we settle for less?

I ebb and flow between being outrageous and a little less outrageous when it comes to shopping. I am trying to make peace between the extravagant, fashion & style oriented travelista and the clean, uncomplicated, spartan (haha) yogini. I am aware that acquisitions do not equal happiness, but am still known to over-consume.

"When less is more," an article from YogaJournal.com, my favorite online database for all that is yoga, Helena Echlin explains the joyless circle of mindlessly acquiring possessions occurring in many of our lives. I feel just waking up to this fact is already a big step in the right direction. Materialism, as stated in the yoga journal article, can become a source of self-violence that cuts us off from what makes us happy.

Also discussed is the important difference between voluntary simplicity and fetish or frugality. According to Helena Echlin the focus should be on health and satisfaction for, like dieting, self-denial backfires! She proposes we select the luxuries that really matter to us rather than giving up life's frills altogether.

My personal goal is to become more discerning and to purchase investment pieces I truly adore rather than collect items upon items that are not wonderful.

In order to be healthy, we must live healthfully.

Bharadvaja's twist at the top is the first doodle done on paper rather than iPad I have created in quite a while. It is also a true doodle, banged out in about two minutes.

Bad habits

are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.

~ Yiddish Proverb

"We practice (yoga) to deepen our self-awareness, establish ourselves in the present, set a direction for our future, and actualize our full potential."

~Gary Kraftsow

Yoga as an individualized practice according to where you are and where you wish to go. According to Gary:

The practices of Yoga provide the means to bring out the best in each practitioner. This requires an understanding of a person's present condition, personal potential, appropriate goals and the means available.

I am currently reading Gary Kraftsow's Yoga For Transformation. (From which, I have used the excerpts that follow.)

Tapas: purification.

Our emotions of anger, frustration, sadness, jealousy, envy, fear, loneliness, anxiety, and depression exist within us as seeds waiting to sprout.

Tapas is the purifying heat that destroys impurities and cooks our seeds to inhibit germination. So yes, Tapas can burn.*

Slaves of our habits and addictions:

While there are various types of tapas, all have one thing in common: they are the means whereby we strengthen ourselves in order to break the cycle of habitual and addictive behavior that keeps us enslaved. And this they do by challenging us to wake up out of the momentum of our daily lives, to pay attention, and to look at life in a new way.

While remembering:

When tapas remains only at the level of the body, its beneficial effects will not be lasting.

And avoiding extremism:

Buddha and the Middle Way: it is said he heard a simple fisherman playing a stringed instrument and realized that too loose a string would not sing and too tight a string would break. And at that point he renounced extreme asceticism.

*Meditation is a form of tapas. Sitting and seeing what arises may be uncomfortable. Fasting is a form of tapas, but a flexible resetting and returning to health, is a longer lasting, truer path to transformation- the middle way.

Every activity is a choice to reinforce our conditioning or serve as the ground for positive change.

18 Tricks for making new -good!- habits stick. CLICK!

J is in the habit of juicing among his favorites are golden pineapple,

bittersweet blood orange, and cooling cucumber (not necessarily together.)

J's morning blend: 3 oranges, mixed variety plus 1/2-1 pineapple. Share or sip throughout the morning.

J's afternooner: 1 cucumber, 2 apples, a few carrot sticks, and spinach or 1 cucumber, 2 apples, 1 beet and dandelion greens (or any mixture thereof...)

Has anyone gotten their paws on the book below?

Might be my next amazon order, I'd love a review! from you.

The avocado chocolate pudding I posted in February is a staple at our house. We went to visit J's cousin in Escondido (north and inland of San Diego) this weekend and he sent us home with a bag full of avos from his backyard. Knowing they would be brown and overripe if we waited to slather the alligator pears on whole grain toast with a sprinkling of salt (my other favorite way to enjoy the fatty fruit) I prevented waste by making a nice big container of chocolate pudding.

The more popular version I created this afternoon does not contain bananas and is richer, smoother and creamier. It takes very little to feel satisfied. So as an addendum to my original recipe, simply make as stated, but omit the banana and double the avocado. (And no need for the almond milk thinner if amalgamated with an immersion blender.)

If the avocados (and bananas) are spoiling:

Nourishing Mask for face and hair

1 overripe banana

1 overripe avocado

1/8-1/4 cup full fat yogurt

2 tablespoons olive oil

Mash, apply, leave on 20-30 minutes, rinse, enjoy!

As with the pudding, an immersion blender is clutch here. ($40-$80)

I frickin love Aspen

I am ready to get hitched in Colorado thanks entirely to my mom with some help from my big brother M.

Aspen is glitzy, glam, and indulgent coupled with a simplicity of life that makes it straight-up my style. Living in a town that is half a mile wide and one mile long, one can walk everywhere, and when that isn't enough, and for nearly every Aspenite it isn't, you can walk up, down, around and through the many mountains that lock in the small flat space of merriment that is Aspen.

HIKE AND PARTY YOUR HEART OUT

I was able to experience Aspen in a new way this visit, as I was pampered at the lovely Little Nell Hotel as opposed to my usual self-sufficient condo dwelling. Not that I am complaining. During our few days of wedding engineering, I had pleasure of meeting chef Ryan Hardy who will be preparing the food for not one, but two nights of my three-day wedding extravaganza.

He encompasses the Aspen paradox: a dedicated, passionate perfectionist, yet laid back and jovial farm-to-table master.

Martha Stewart is also a fan.

Ryan hardy cooking from farm to table:

http://www.marthastewart.com/show/the-martha-stewart-show/farm-fresh-food

Ryan Hardy trout fishing:

http://www.marthastewart.com/article/ryan-hardy

I urge you to CLICK CLICK CLICK and check him out! (especially if I'll be seeing you in late September or if your travels may take you to Aspen.)

Tailoring your diet to yourself:

A balanced life looks and feels different for everyone.

During our tasting there were two vegetarians at the table, including yours truly, both of which sampled the Colorado rabbit turnovers and local grilled partridge. We all make personal appropriate allowances: "we don't eat meat, but we will eat Ryan's."

The road to wellness isn't straight, clear or predictable. It's a path you forge yourself.

Interestingly enough, the omnivores and herbivores alike felt that the menu would improve with those two dishes removed. "Check for vegetarian" (fish, egg, and dairy eating) no longer necessary on the wedding invitation!

I ride my bike

I roller skate, don't drive no car

Don't go too fast , but I go pretty far

For somebody who don't drive, I been all around the world

Some people say I done alright for a girl

-Melanie Safka

World Naked Bike Ride in the Northern Hemisphere is approaching in participating American cities the beginning of June. Flip up your kickstand and dare to bare all: the X-rated outrageousness takes place in San Diego Saturday, June 12th, 5pm at Evolution Fast Food 2965 5th Avenue. For other times and places visit the website!

This clothing optional bike ride brings attention to our reliance on automobiles and the fuel they require to run. This year seems to be an especially poignant year in regards to the current oil spill of mass destruction and utter sadness.

Yes, it is illegal to ride your bike naked through the streets. The world naked bike ride website offers some words of advice on this concern:

The laws on nudity are often incredibly vague and difficult to enforce.

You probably don't need to cover up an awful lot to be legal. With the incredible transforming powers of a little body paint, liquid latex, a strategically-placed sock or duct tape you too can transform the average city-streaking wild naked cyclist into "the legal city-streaking wild naked cyclist". Be creative: a little imagination can change everything.

You put the lime in the coconut

and drink it all up

Kalpa vriksha, sanskrit, "the tree which provides all the necessities of life."

When I am away J eats us out of house and home, and in the process has made a lovely discovery and my new obsession. Young Coconuts! I had bought the white pointy Cocos nucifera with little intention of actually doing anything with it, and in his desperation, J to the rescue.

-The coconut water, found in young coconuts, is full of fiber, proteins, antioxidants, vitamins and minerals and provides an isotonic electrolyte balance.

-It's nature's sports drink.

-It is filtered through the trunk of the palm and sterile until opened. It has even been used for blood transfusions during World War II.

-The nut (fruit) meat contains saturated fat and protein and the vitamins iron, phosphorous, and zinc.

-Harvesting the bud, the heart-of-palm, kills the palm and is therefore a rare delicacy referred to as "millionaires salad."

This man taught J how to open his coconut and has since become our best friend. We enjoy blending the gelatinous meat with the water and one whole vanilla bean for an island-life-giving smoothie, or just sipping the water and scooping the flesh.

I use the empty husks as tea light holders or as chocolate pudding pots!

get to know our man, the life regenerator! click!!! click!!! click!!!

You can have your cake

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

-Mahatma Gandhi

On our gregorian calendar the date of the Buddha's Birthday changes from year to year. This year it falls on May 21st (also, my half birthday) Happy Birthday Buddha!

Celebrate everyday with Birthday Cake Remix Jelly Bellies. They taste of cake batter, sprinkles, brownie and fudge.

to order them, click.

I cannot take full credit for this doodle, it's a rendition of a cartoon on wordpress. I'm a Copycat. It's how I practice. As per usual these days, it is made and sent from my iPad.

Just because you listen harder

Doesn't mean you can hear better

Here at my yoga retreat in the hills of the Berkshires of Massachusetts we are participating in 'Noble Silence' or 'Social Silence'.

We are actively restraining the way in which we are accustomed to functioning in this world in hopes to become cognizant of the mind- to train the mind, and remind it that it's not the boss! This quiet time amplifies the conversations we have in our heads (our reaction to life, the story we hold on to) and hence sheds light on our dark areas. Withdrawal from constant stimulation also turns everything, not just sitting purposefully, into a meditation.

Meditation is noticing what's happening while it's happening and noticing your relationship to what's happening.

Wish me luck!!! I will be in stillness all this week, meditating for hours, wishing I were doodling. Sitting all day is no easy feat, it is the hardest pose in yoga after all: the pose, along with Savasana, that all the other poses lead up to.

What did I get myself into?!

JOIN ME ON MY RETREAT

I invite you to join me this week for your own retreat at home: a Media Respite!

I realize it is not practical to ask you to cut off all communication (that's what these hippy centers are for,) but I welcome you to take a break from unnecessary outlets of communication and stimulation.

For example:

Leave the TV off!!! (if you do nothing else, do this)

Exonerate the daily newspaper*

Forget the radio in the car

Give the iPod/iTunes/all i's and tunes a rest**

Refrain from random surfing and internet chatting

If you want to go the extra mile:

Exnay the gossip

Use the phone for purposeful calls only

Bonus points for:

Not texting

Journaling

Sitting still and watching, bemused, your monkey mind.

It's b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

Choose one/a few/all/any of these suggestions and commit for the week. Right now: write down your plan and intention. Set up the time-line and the parameters. What do expect to get out of this? What will help you go through with it? I'll be right here with you, thinking of you! (I have nothing else to do.)

*we are so attached to the news and have countless excuses for the addiction, just TRY letting it go for a few days, see what happens. I promise you'll know if the world is ending.

**yes, music can be soothing, but silence, especially if it scares you, is the sound that will set you free. If you're not a granola, it can be the most deafening noise of all. This fear, as all things do, shall pass.

The only thing we can rely on is that we cannot rely on anything. The only permanent is impermanence.

I'll see you in a week.

Meditate like a glass of muddy water, sit and let the silt fall towards the bottom.

I'm twenty-something and I have angst

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.

-Wayne Dyer

Characteristics of a quarter-life crisis may include:

(per Wikipedia)

• realizing that the pursuits of one's peers are useless
• confronting their own mortality
• watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
• insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
• insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
• disappointment with one's job
• nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends
• financially rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipated high cost of living, etc.)
• loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
• frustration with social skills

Being twenty-something is no walk in the park. I am gradually coming to realize this, and thankfully registering at the same time that I am not alone in this thinking. As I was perusing the Kripalu (yoga school) website for my airport shuttle times this Friday I came across a six-day workshop entitled Quarter Life Calling: Creating an Extraordinary Life in Your 20's and got me thinking, maybe I'm not so mentally strange.

Only an hour later I found myself at lunch with my early 30's friend L and the same topic came up. She reassured me that it is in fact a troubling time of uncertainty and angst (her word,) not just my imagination, I am thankful for friends like these.

Knowing I'm not alone makes me rest easy. Already, I' feeling breezy.

Angst: German for "fear." American for 'a deep and essentially philosophical anxiety about the world in general or personal freedom.' (click for cute video, I hate wind as well!)

The man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.

-Henry David Thoreau